Florida wild hogs don't climb trees, do they?

You would have thought that my first experience of going into the woods while pregnant would have taught me not to do it again. But, I don't learn that quickly. Because a few weeks after nearly being struck by lightning while five months pregnant, my husband asked me for help again. He needed to scout out an area he thought would be good to find wild hogs. Off we went to the wildlife management area to go hiking in the woods once again.

This time, I thought, I won't overdo it. I was six months pregnant now, a lot heavier and more prone to exhaustion. So after walking to the general area my hunting husband was considering, and then back to another spot, before returning to the first location, I told my husband I needed rest. I sat down underneath the nearest tree and told him to come get me when he was ready.

My husband was gone about five minutes when I heard the noise. It was a heavy breathing sound, kind of like what a prank caller would make. I had never heard this sound before, but I instinctly knew what it was -- a wild hog somewhere in the bushes.

I remembered my husband telling me once that wild hogs don't like singing. So I started belting out "Twinkle, twinkle little star," the only song I could think of at the last minute. But the sound kept coming, louder and louder, making me think the hog was heading my way.

I called out for my hunting husband, knowing he would help me. But he must have been out of hearing range, because he didn't come.

Now, I was scared. Then I thought of something else my husband once told me. Wild hogs can't climb trees. The tree I sat underneath had a spot that looked like I could use to climb out of the hog's reach, should one come out from the bushes. But I wanted to be ready. So, I tried to lift my leg to get my foot in that spot. Under normal circumstances, I might have managed. But, being six months pregnant, I wasn't at my tree-climbing best.

The sound continued. I tried signing louder as I again struggled to get into the tree. It didn't work. I swore I would never again go into the woods until after the baby was born. Then, I heard the crunching sound of leaves. Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!

I knew it was the hog. So, I turned to the tree and lifted my leg, holding my protruding belly and scrambled up to the foothold in the tree.

Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!
The sound was getting louder. I braced myself, now halfway up the trunk of the tree. I looked up and wondered how high I would need to get, and how fast I could climb the tree if the hog emerged.
I scanned the bushes anxiously.

The crunching sound turned out to be my husband. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to kill or hug him when he came out of a cluster of trees, with an amused grin on his face when he saw his pregnant wife up a tree.

"What are you doing?" he laughed. "You look ridiculous."

"There was a hog in the bushes," I gushed. "I heard it breathing, and I was scared, so I climbed the tree so the hog wouldn't get me and the baby. You told me hogs can't climb trees."

My husband was laughing so hard now large tears rolled down his cheeks.
"I didn't mean for you to climb a tree!" he choked out. "That hog was probably more scared of you than you were of it."

About a month later, my doctor detected high blood pressure and pre-toxemia (gee, I wonder what caused that?) He put me on immediate bed rest, which thankfully ended my woods hiking trips for a few months.