Survival guide for the hunting or fishing widow, and how to deal with your husband's obsession

Welcome fellow widows of hunters, fisherman and other outdoor enthusiasts.

Feel free to post your own comments, tips, advice and stories!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Don't forget the date -- hunting dates to remember in Florida!

When you are married to a hunter, there are a few dates that should be in the forefront of your brain at all times. I'm not talking about your wedding anniversary or birthdays. No, all good hunting widows always should know when their spouses need to put in for hunting permits. Do not forget these dates. Because if your husband relies on public hunting grounds to set up his tree stands, and if your husband does not put in for hunting wildlife management permits, your husband's entire hunting season is ruined. At least, that's the way it is in Florida.

You can be your man's heroine forever if you save his hunting season. For those in Florida, the state Fish and Wildlife Commission has changed times for hog hunts. See here for those dates. Basically, hog hunters have until April 12 to get in their requests for special hog hunts. With the FWC rule that hunting permits aren't transferable (meaning he can't get a permit from his buddy), it's crucial hog hunters put in for their permits now.

Permit drawing for deer hunting isn't until June.

Putting in for hunting permits is a lot more simplified than it used to be. When I first met my husband, hunting permits had to be mailed to the state on special forms you picked up at the tag office. Apparently the state discounted any form that had smudges or wasn't filled out perfectly because my husband used to get about 100 of these speical forms in case he made a mistake. I sometimes wondered if he dated me only because of my handwriting, because every season he always asked me to fill out his forms. Seriously, he spent more time and was more anal about these forms than he was about addressing our wedding invitations.

Once, I was put in charge of mailing these precious forms. Somehow, I accidentally dropped some of these forms in between my car seat. My husband had a serious meltdown when he checked online and his forms hadn't been received yet. "Did you mail them?" he asked. This was our first major fight. "Of course I mailed them," I retorted, hurt that he didn't trust me over what I considered a trivial matter -- we hadn't been married very long, so I was a bit naive. We checked my car. When my husband found the unmailed envelopes with the permit applications in behind the seat, I swear I thought I was heading for divorce court. He was that mad. He considered driving up to hand-deliver the applications, but realized he still had some time. My marriage was saved when he got his first-choices that year anyway. Whew!

Once drawing results were announced a few months later, our phone then would start ringing. And ringing.
"What you get?" his hunting buddies would ask him. Then would begin an hour-long discussion on what hunts he had permits for and what ones he needed, and what kind of a trade could be had. If my husband were out, sometimes they would ask me. "So, what did he get?" It took me a few times to figure out what they were talking about. Most of the time, I would just play dumb because I really didn't want to start talking about hunting permits with my husband's hunting buddies.

Now, with the new non-transferable rule, the calls don't come. My husband can't trade permits with his friends. If he doesn't get the hunts he wants, he mopes around for days. And complains about it with his friends. Putting in for hunting permits is a lot easier, though. Everything is done on the Internet. Just fill out the forms online and you're done. My writing hand is grateful to the state for that.

3 comments:

  1. Great suggestion, filing online. I've never filed permits for my boyfriend, but I'm sure if I started that would definitely become "my" job from there-on-out, which I would surely get the blame if it wasn't done on time. Been reading your blogs, because I'm writing a paper for a class defining what it means to be the significant other of a hunter/fisherman. Just loved reading about all your experiences. We live in Wisconsin, but men hunt and fish up here pretty much year round too. In the winter, they ice fish and go sturgeon spearing. There's something you should try. Sturgeon spearing always starts about the 2nd week of February, right around Valentine's Day. It's funny how a guy who normally doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, suddenly becomes romantic, when opening day of sturgeon spearing falls on Valentine's day,and he wants you to go along (just so he won't have to sit in that 8 x 8 foot shack all by himself for 6 hours looking in a hole). Fish stories aren't always used to describe fish. I don't hunt or fish either, but I do support his hobby. Probably easier for me though, because we're both empty nesters.

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  2. Hi! Thanks for the comment. I'm glad there are other people reading the blog. Sometimes, I feel as if I'm talking to myself. But I guess it's a form of therapy and much cheaper than marital counseling. LOL I've only been to Wisconsin once on a business trip. But wouldn't you know, my husband has been there a few times. He says the deer hunting is great up there. I guess he should know.
    I had to laugh about the sturgeon spearing. Around here, the men don't go fishing if the temperature drops below 40, too cold for them. At least, the men I know.
    Please keep reading the blog -- and let me know if I can help you with your paper at all.

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  3. You already did. I quoted one of your blogs, the one where you compared your husband going fishing to having an affair, how when he returned he had been rejected by his love. I loved the comparison. It really does feel like he's having an affair sometimes. Helps when you have a sense of humor about it. I got an "A" on my paper by the way.

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